Tragicomic Fiction Author

Tag: Small Towns

Fun Family Adventures

(or Small Towns and Giant Sculptures redux)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again that the best thing about being a teacher is the school holidays. Last week, my wife and I took the kids on a 500 kilometre journey to the central North Island plateau for a fun family adventure, where we spent a few days in the small town of Ohakune (it’s important to note that the ‘fun’ part of the adventure didn’t include the eight hours stuck in a car with three children).

In many ways, Ohakune is a typical small New Zealand town. It has the requisite giant sculpture, a carrot in this instance (apparently Ohakune is the carrot growing capital of New Zealand, evidenced by the fact that there were enormous bags of carrots for sale outside almost every other shopfront. I’m not sure who the target market for such quantities of carrots is — perhaps commercial rabbit breeders or people whose entire extended families suffer from carrot addictions). It also has the requisite grand town slogan: ‘Where Adventures Begin’.

Fun Family Adventures with Giant Carrot, Ohakune, NZ

Of course we’re excited; it’s a giant carrot, for goodness sake!
Fun Family Adventures, Ohakune, NZ
This one’s self-explanatory.

While the very nature of small town slogans tends towards hyperbole, this seemed to me to be a potentially egregious example. After all, when I think of the word ‘adventure’, the picture that comes into my head is not that of a small town in the middle of nowhere. However, the particular middle of nowhere that Ohakune happens to be located in is the southern slopes of Mt Ruapehu, on the edge of the Tongariro National Park. In terms of adventures, there’s plenty on offer — biking, climbing, hiking, and in the winter, skiing — which was the main purpose of our trip. I’m still not sure what the relationship between ‘carrots’ and ‘adventure’ is, but perhaps I’m just not using my imagination.

On our second day in town we hit the slopes. Due to the uncertainty created by Covid-19, Turoa, the ski-field closest to Ohakune, was closed at the time of our visit, so we caught a bus to Whakapapa, the ski-field on the northern slopes of the mountain. It was the first time any of the kids had been to the mountains, the first time they’d ever worn thermal underwear, and for the entire bus ride they all complained about how hot and uncomfortable they were. This all changed when we got off the bus. Within seconds, all three kids were bawling and saying they wanted to go home because they were freezing. It was one of those moments that’s funny in retrospect but at the time, not so much. To be fair, the weather in the central North Island plateau is notoriously changeable and the conditions on the day were unpleasant, to say the least — snowing, icy cold and blowing a gale. 

They weren’t the only tears of the day. As well as the vagaries of the weather, those of you who have hired ski-gear before will likely know that there are few things in life more uncomfortable than a rented ski-boot. However, in between the tears and tantrums (and not just from the children), everyone gave it their best shot. Since my wife and children were complete skiing novices and only the beginner slopes of Whakapapa were open, I had decided not to ski. Instead, I spent the day running back and forth between them, pushing them up and pointing them down the slope and offering (mostly ignored) advice. After a couple of hours the kids had had enough and proceeded to entertain themselves by making snow angels, snowmen and snowballs, which they subsequently threw at me as payment for my coaching efforts. My wife persevered for a little longer but then she too called it quits. I don’t blame her — it’s amazing how much pain a snowflake can cause when its propelled into your face by a gusting 80 km/h wind.

Fun Family Adventures with skis, Whakapapa, NZ.
am trying to smile; it’s just that my feet really hurt.

Strangely enough, nobody wanted to repeat the experience the following day. So we spent it relaxing at our chalet — eating chocolate, reading books, watching TV, eating chocolate. It was late afternoon and I was lying on the couch with the curtains closed, reading a book and eating chocolate when my wife walks in the room and says “It’s snowing”. I thought she was kidding at first — Ohakune is only 600 metres above sea level and it’s not often that snow falls right down in town, but sure enough, when I opened the curtains the evidence was undeniable. It continued falling throughout the afternoon and into the night and when we woke up early on our final morning in town we were greeted with this.

Fun Family Adventures with Giant Carrot in the snow, Ohakune, NZ.
They say that when the moon is aligned with a giant carrot, good fortune is nigh.

It was magical stuff. A dusting of snow makes anything look like it’s come straight out of a fairy tale, let alone a giant carrot. The kids couldn’t wait to make snowballs and throw them at me and I finally discovered what all those carrots were for.

Snowman

It was the perfect ending to our fun family adventure.

What’s your favourite location for fun family adventures? Let me know in the comments.


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What Friends Are For, by J.B. Reynolds

A gritty and engaging story of human faults, fears, and frailty, What Friends Are For is the prequel short story to my tragicomic novel, Taking the Plunge. Introduce yourself to the characters from the novel and find out where it all begins for Kate, Tracy, Evan and Lawrence.

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Small Towns in New Zealand

My new novel, Taking the Plunge, is set mostly in the small town of Cromwell, in the Southern Alps of New Zealand. The main reason I chose to set it in Cromwell is because I lived there for a couple of years in the early 2000’s, commuting to work in Queenstown, and the impression it left on me has been a lasting one.

Cromwell is fairly typical of small towns in New Zealand. Sleepy and serene (some might say dull), it’s surrounded by mountains and perches on the edge of a man-made lake that was the result of damming the Clutha River for a hydro-electric power station in the 80’s. Historically, it was a gold mining town (parts of which now lie beneath the waters of the lake), but these days it’s better known for its vineyards, apricot and cherry orchards, and for being the place you pass by on the way between the popular alpine resort towns of Queenstown and Wanaka.

As if real fruit weren’t enough, Cromwell also has the notable attraction of the fake variety, on a giant scale. Just beside the highway turnoff, imploring visitors to stop and take in all the town has to offer, is this:

Small Towns in New Zealand: Giant Fruit Sculpture, Cromwell
“That lady should really put some pants on.”

Cromwell isn’t the only small town in NZ to have a giant sculpture as a local landmark. Gore, for instance, has a giant fish;

Small Towns in New Zealand: Giant Fish Sculpture, Gore
“Eeew, someone laid a big brown trout!

Ohakune, a giant carrot;

Small Towns in New Zealand: Giant Carrot Sculpture, Ohakune
“It’s the carotene that helps you ski faster.”

Image by Tony from Flickr (CC BY-ND 2.0).

And Taihape, a giant gumboot.

Small Towns in New Zealand: Giant Gumboot Sculpture, Taihape
“Hold on, I’m sure I left my keys here somewhere.”

Image by DaxMairead from Flickr (CC BY-ND 2.0).

These sculptures play their part in helping put these towns on the map, and if nothing else, they make for great photo-ops.

Along with its giant fruit sculpture, Cromwell, like most small towns, also has some interesting street names. When I was living there one in particular always stood out to me—Neplusultra. Off Barry Ave, and running parallel to Clare, Wicklow, and Kirtle, Neplusultra’s Latin heritage stands out. I had to consult a dictionary to discover that it means no more beyond, which I guess makes sense because running down one side of the street is a golf course, so there are no more houses beyond that side of the street.

Anyway, if you’re wondering where I’m going with this, here it is. Neplusultra Street and the giant fruit sculpture were the inspiration for a limerick I composed whilst living in Cromwell:

There was a young man from Cromwell,
Whose landlord was giving him hell.
He moved from Neplusultra
To the giant fruit sculpture,
And there he did happily dwell.

If you know of any other small towns in New Zealand or elsewhere with giant sculptures or interesting street names, I’d love to hear about them. And if you have a favourite limerick or two then I’d love to hear them too. Let me know in the comments.


FREE BOOK!

What Friends Are For, by J.B. Reynolds

A gritty and engaging story of human faults, fears, and frailty, What Friends Are For is the prequel short story to my tragicomic novel, Taking the Plunge. Introduce yourself to the characters from the novel and find out where it all begins for Kate, Tracy, Evan and Lawrence.

GET YOUR FREE BOOK >>

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