J.B. Reynolds

Tragicomic Fiction Author

Tag: school

Kickin’ it Old School

May 15, 2021 / / 0 Comments

I finally finished the second draft of my second novel (which currently has the working title of Staking a Claim) earlier in April, during the NZ school holidays. We were on a family vacation in the Hawke’s Bay at the time and so celebrated this milestone by going out to the Taradale RSA (Returned and Services’ Association) for roast beef and gravy. It may not have been the most prestigious of venues but it did have the advantage of serving cheap drinks and being located right next door to the motel we were staying in — it doesn’t pay to be sober or have far to walk home when going to dinner in an unfamiliar town with three hyper-stimulated and squabbling children in tow.

I’m not quite sure what sins my wife and I committed in a past life to deserve it, but I swear that every time we go out for a meal with our children one or the other of them will spill their drink all over the table. Sure enough, it happened again at the Taradale RSA. To be fair to the child responsible, we had (mostly) finished eating by then but, with liquid waterfalling over the sides of the table and into our laps, we took that as the cue to return to our motel unit, where the drinks were even cheaper.

Now that the celebration is over, it’s back to the hard slog of writing. I’m currently in the process of reading through my story chapter by chapter and making notes of things that need tweaking or clarifying for the next draft. I need to find the answers to such pressing questions as ‘how much did it cost to build a four bedroom, two bathroom house in Cromwell in the year 2000’ and, ‘does a 2003 Hyundai Santa Fe have keyless entry?’ Unfortunately, historical research is not exactly the first thing that comes to mind when I think of ‘activities that get me excited and make me wish I could spend every waking hour participating in them’. Since I’m writing humorous fiction, a certain amount of implausibility is necessary to serve the story, but there’s a balance to be found between the improbable and the impossible that’s easy to get wrong if you’re not careful. There’s always that one person so obsessed by plotholes and anachronisms in their literary fare that they’ll write a letter to point out that the cylinder on a Smith & Wesson revolver actually spins counter-clockwise, not clockwise.

Speaking of historical research, one of the most fun things I did with the children in the school holidays was take them to an open day at the Whangarei Museum, Kiwi House and Heritage Park. They loved the kiwis (who wouldn’t), but were even more taken with the old school building on site; it was set up so they could dress in old-fashioned clothes and sit at the old wooden desks drawing on chalk slates and practicing their cursive handwriting with a fountain pen and ink. Of course, the same child that spilt water all over our dinner while on vacation knocked his inkwell all over the floor of the schoolhouse, but the demonstrator didn’t seem particularly bothered by it. “It washes out,” she reckoned. “Maybe not the first time, but, you know, eventually.” Anyway, it was very cute and the kids loved kickin’ it old school and want to go back and do it all over again.

Kickin' it Old School
“Wasn’t us, Miss, honest — we’d never put no pins on your chair. We was jus’ sittin’ here practicin’ our letters the whole time.”

I just wish they could get that excited about going to school on a normal day.

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What Friends Are For, by J.B. Reynolds

A gritty and engaging story of human faults, fears, and frailty, What Friends Are For is the prequel short story to my tragicomic novel, Taking the Plunge. Introduce yourself to the characters from the novel and find out where it all begins for Kate, Tracy, Evan and Lawrence.

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Where I’m From

February 8, 2021 / / 0 Comments

I’ve just finished my first week back at school for the year. It’s always a bit of a shock to the system to get back into teaching mode again but it went well — lots of fresh faces, enthusiasm and an atmosphere of positivity. One of my goals this year is to do more poetry in my English classes, and in pursuit of this goal I tried a poetry exercise that came from Micah Bournes, a Californian poet and musician who visited our school a few years ago. I was really pleased with how well it worked and thought I’d share the results.

The exercise is called ‘Where I’m From‘, and here’s the one my Year 12 class wrote together. I think it’s rather lovely.

Where I’m From

I am from eyelash extensions and Pantene.
I’m from the white house with concrete for lawns.
I’m from the oak tree and the sunflower,
From Sunday family breakfasts, mouths full of swear words, from Bayly and Kathleen.
I am from fighting and arguments in the middle of the street,
From “don’t do drugs” and “do the mahi, get the treats.”
From playing games and watching the stock cars,
From Opononi, from hangis and boil-up,
From nearly killing Nana when pulling wheelies on my motorcycle.
I’m from a treasured box of photos that makes me feel both happy and sad.

Here’s a picture of the instructions, or poetic recipe, if you like, that we used.

Instructions for Where I'm From poem.

Here’s the one my Year 10 class wrote together. You can see the maturity level has dropped a little (maybe more than a little), but I still like it.

Where I’m From

I am from pencils and Supreme.
I’m from the pink house with the orange trim.
I’m from maple trees and cauliflower,
From dancing round the Christmas tree,
From the worst car on the street, from Uncle Bob and Uncle Jared.
I am from unflushed toilets and rescuing random animals.
From “Santa’s real” and “your dad will be back in five minutes.”
I’m from colander helmets and touching feet,
From New England, eggplant and broccoli rice.
I’m from an older brother who would sit on my chest, hold my hands down and tickle me until I cried.
I’m from a cabinet in the hallway, stuffed with old shit we found underground.

Want to try it yourself? Leave a comment; I’d love to know how it went.

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What Friends Are For, by J.B. Reynolds

A gritty and engaging story of human faults, fears, and frailty, What Friends Are For is the prequel short story to my tragicomic novel, Taking the Plunge. Introduce yourself to the characters from the novel and find out where it all begins for Kate, Tracy, Evan and Lawrence.

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Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet: A Reflection on the Frustrating Experience of Teaching Shakespeare to High School Students

September 8, 2020 / / 0 Comments

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east and Juliet is the sun.

Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet

When I recently gave my Year 10 English class a selection of movies to choose from for their upcoming film study, I was surprised when the overwhelming majority of them (and not just girls) picked Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet. So far in my teaching career I’ve steered clear of Shakespeare, mostly because I’ve found students struggle enough with the vagaries of contemporary English — without introducing the confusion of an archaic, four-hundred-year-old dialect.

My reluctance was borne out when after watching the film, the overwhelming majority of the class were of the opinion that they hated it.

“That was the dumbest movie I’ve ever seen,” said one student.

“Totally gay,” ventured another.

“I didn’t understand anything they said,” said several more. “Can we watch something else?”

High on Shakespearean love poetry, I was unsympathetic to their cause. “No! I gave you a choice. I warned you about the language and still, this is what you chose. It’s your own fault — we’re not going back now.”

So for the last couple of weeks we’ve taken a closer look at ‘the greatest love story ever told’. While I don’t think I’ve managed to turn any of the haters around yet, I’m fairly certain I’ve at least managed to increase the general level of understanding.

Anyway, I’ve enjoyed it, and that’s important (trying to teach content that you’re not interested in yourself can become very tedious very quickly). As an introduction to Shakespeare for the beginner, I highly rate Luhrmann’s version, released in 1996. It gets stick from Shakespeare purists because there’s nothing remotely subtle about it — Luhrmann doesn’t really do subtle — and the whole production is completely over the top.

For instance, if there was any doubt that all the guns that are waved about onscreen are supposed to be modern representations of bladed weapons, Luhrmann gives us close up shots of the guns with their model names engraved into them — Sword, Dagger, Rapier etc. — just to make sure the representation is painfully clear.

And to ensure there’s no confusion between members of the two feuding families, the differences between them are made blatantly obvious. The Montague boys are loud and raucous; dressed in unbuttoned Hawaiian shirts and driving a bright yellow convertible, their arrival is accompanied by grinding rock music.

The dark and sinister Capulets, on the other hand, wear tailored suits with waistcoats and fancy shoes and drive a dark blue saloon, their presence announced by fluid strains of Latino style surf guitar.

But that’s exactly why it’s so great for newbies. There’s no need to understand anything the characters say because all the other visual and aural cues make it clear what’s going on in the story.

It also helps that the acting is tremendous — Leonardo DiCaprio totally inhabits the role of Romeo, and while Claire Danes might be a little less convincing as Juliet, it’s only because Leo is so good. The performances of the supporting cast are also uniformly excellent. If you’ve never seen it, there’s plenty worse ways to spend two hours of your life.

Teenagers are a tough crowd though. Not even the tragic ending where Romeo drinks poison and Juliet shoots herself was enough to sway them. “Should’ve been more blood,” they all reckoned.

“Isn’t that what all girls want?” I asked. “A boy who’s willing to die for them?”

“What use is a boyfriend if he’s dead?” came the reply.

It’s hard to argue with that.

This week we’re getting up close and personal with the infamous ‘balcony scene’. Can one of the greatest romantic encounters in the history of storytelling melt the stone-cold cynical hearts of the type of people who routinely begin and end relationships via Messenger and who think that getting married to someone the day after you meet them for the first time is stupid?

I’m not holding my breath.

Poor Shakespeare. Love ain’t what it used to be.

Are you a fan of Romeo and Juliet? Why or why not? Let me know in the comments.

FREE BOOK!

What Friends Are For, by J.B. Reynolds

A gritty and engaging story of human faults, fears, and frailty, What Friends Are For is the prequel short story to my tragicomic novel, Taking the Plunge. Introduce yourself to the characters from the novel and find out where it all begins for Kate, Tracy, Evan and Lawrence.

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Woolly Socks

June 11, 2020 / / 0 Comments

With much of the globe seemingly lurching from one crisis to the next, it’s not for the first time that I feel blessed that life in my small corner of the world is, for the most part, a little bit dull. Now that winter is upon us, the most difficult decision I’ve found myself making is whether or not my desire to have warm toes in the morning is worth turning the fan heater on for. Yes equals toasty tootsies, but a bigger power bill at the end of the month. No equals… a pair of woolly socks. It’s hardly life-changing stuff.

Woolly Socks
Woolly socks and a coffee? What more could a person want?

Socks and Coffee Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

Oh, yeah, now we’re talkin’.

Socks, Coffee and Books Image by FotoRieth from Pixabay

My children have gone back to school, and despite the not infrequent pleas of “I hate school! It’s so boring!” and “Turn the heater on! My toes are cold!” they’ve settled back into the swing of things remarkably well. Life got a bit too loose during the lockdown and they’ve all benefited from the return to a more structured daily routine.

I’ve also returned to my school, and there’s something else to be thankful for. It’s wonderful to see all the smiling faces, teenagers and teachers alike, but the most interesting thing that’s happened since my return is that the textbooks I ordered from the Ministry of Education to be sent out to my students during lockdown finally arrived… on Friday… in my classroom… two months after I ordered them and almost a month after lockdown ended. 

I shouldn’t complain. A free textbook is a free textbook, and for the Ministry of Education to be a mere two months late in their delivery of a promised service is practically unheard of. But it would be hyperbole to describe the outcome as an exciting one.

However, when I compare that to the excitement of joining the unemployment queue, or sleeping in my car, or fearing for my life because of the colour of my skin, it helps put things in perspective. Yes, at this point in time I’m certainly thankful that my life is as mundane as it is. There’s a certain beauty in boring. For the moment, at least, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

What are you feeling thankful for at this point in time? Let me know in the comments.

My Writing Progress

In other news, I’ve finished the first draft of the sequel to Taking the Plunge. Hemingway said the first draft of anything is shit and my manuscript is no exception to that rule, but I’m pretty sure there’s a decent story buried in there somewhere. I’ve been through it chapter by chapter and made a looooooong list of things that need improvement. Now it’s on with the hard graft of writing the second draft.

FREE BOOK!

What Friends Are For, by J.B. Reynolds

A gritty and engaging story of human faults, fears, and frailty, What Friends Are For is the prequel short story to my tragicomic novel, Taking the Plunge. Introduce yourself to the characters from the novel and find out where it all begins for Kate, Tracy, Evan and Lawrence.

GET YOUR FREE BOOK >>

A holiday from the holidays

July 21, 2019 / / 0 Comments

As I write this, early on a wintry Saturday, it’s the first morning of the mid-year school holidays here in Aotearoa. I’ve been counting down the days for the last week — not because teaching is such an onerous job that the idea of having a student-free break is the one thing that makes life liveable — but because the holidays do provide a small opportunity to get things done without the constant interruptions that are an everyday part of school life. 

By the last week of term, everyone is in survival mode.  By the last day of term, the brains of students and teachers alike have turned to mush and in an atmosphere of barely suppressed chaos a successful lesson is one where nobody gets stabbed with scissors and the floor is cleared of paper aeroplanes before students stampede out the door when the bell goes.

All pretence of anyone learning anything disappears. On Friday, my lesson plans consisted of handing students a laptop each and telling them not to swap the letters on the keyboard around. By last period, four students turned up to my lesson out of a class of twenty-three. God only knows where the rest of them were — I was in no hurry to find out — and the lesson consisted of putting the chairs on the desks so the cleaner would have better access to the floor and comparing Justin Bieber’s early catalogue with his more recent material. 

But even in the midst of such chaos, great things can happen. In the corner of the main whiteboard in my classroom, sometime in the distant past, some helpful boy has used a sharp object to inscribe the outline of a penis (I guess I can’t know for sure it was a boy, but in my experience, girls, while being perfectly happy to vandalise school furniture, don’t do it by drawing images of male genitalia). One of my delightful students took it upon himself to use the penis as the central feature of an idyllic landscape scene, turning it into a lighthouse on a rock, surrounded by a gentle ocean, fluffy clouds and a passing sailboat. I’m not quite sure why the light was shining in the middle of the day but I wasn’t complaining — it was a wonderful picture and I was loath to rub it off when it came time to clean the whiteboard.

Boy with paper aeroplanes
“Boy, this is boring — I wish I was back in English class.”

Image by Виктория Бородинова from Pixabay

I have a depressingly extensive list of schoolwork to complete by the end of the school holidays. There’s also an extensive list of chores to do around the house — all the things that build up because there’s never enough time to do them in the weekends. 

If I didn’t have children of my own the chances of getting all these things done would be reasonable. However, I have three young children, who due to the vagaries of our schooling system have their school holidays at the exact same time as mine! Which means they’ll spend the next two weeks stealing each other’s toys and then complaining to me to arbitrate their disputes. This dynamic is going to be further complicated by the arrival of their older half-brother, who’s coming from Australia to stay with us for the holidays. It’s going to be fun times I tell you, but I can’t help thinking that by the end of it I’m going to need a holiday from the holidays.

FREE BOOK!

What Friends Are For

A gritty and engaging story of human faults, fears, and frailty, What Friends Are For is the prequel short story to my tragicomic novel, Taking the Plunge. Introduce yourself to the characters from the novel and find out where it all begins for Kate, Tracy, Evan and Lawrence.

GET YOUR FREE BOOK >>

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