Tragicomic Fiction Author

Tag: fitness

A Journey Begins with Ten-Thousand Steps

A journey begins with ten-thousand steps

I’m not usually one for New Year’s resolutions (mostly because I don’t see any reason to wait if you want to make changes in your life — now’s as good a time as any), but one thing that has been playing on my mind for a while is how to get some more exercise into my life. With three kids and a full-time job plus this writing gig on the side, there just never seems to be enough time in the day to do everything I’d like and exercise is one thing that seems to fall by the wayside when it really shouldn’t. 

Of course it’s a mind over matter thing — there actually is enough time in the day — but separating that time out from the mush and swirl of everyday life requires a level of organisation and efficient productivity that I’m just not very good at (certainly not as good as I am at sitting on the couch watching TV and eating cheesecake). My wife uses a Fitbit to help with her exercise schedule and I’ve been thinking about getting one myself for a while now, but due to a certain level of psychological resistance on my part the thought has remained just that. I always figured the most useful function of such a device for me would be the pedometer, so it was a happy surprise to discover last week that one of the many things my iPhone can do is measure my steps. After seven years of owning a smartphone I’m not sure how I missed out on this knowledge (my wife suggested that I was probably the only person on the planet who didn’t already know it) but I’m pleased I’ve finally figured it out because it’s a really handy feature. Not only that, it means I have one less first world problem to worry about.

According to the data my phone has already collected without me being any the wiser, I averaged just over four-thousand steps a day last year. However, much of that time my phone would have been on my bedside table or in my bag or at the bottom of the enormous pile of washing in the laundry basket or in between the seat cushions on the couch or in the vege drawer of the refrigerator (it has an unnatural habit of hiding in the darndest places) and so many of my steps wouldn’t have been counted (certainly not the ones made searching for my phone). Since my pedometer revelation, I’ve kept it on me as much as I can (to the point of slipping it into the waistband of my undies in those early hours of the morning when wearing pants just seems like overkill) to get as accurate a reading as possible of just how many steps I take.

The result has been pleasing. They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. However, in the world of exercise regimes, ten-thousand steps seems to be a generally accepted measure of a reasonable daily level of activity, so in this instance, I’m going to say a journey begins with ten-thousand steps. On Thursday I did eight-and-a-half-thousand steps and all I was doing was pottering round the house performing the usual summer school holiday routine — making untold rounds of Marmite sandwiches, folding the enormous pile of washing in the laundry basket and shouting at my children for shouting at each other. On Friday I did twenty-thousand steps with a little more intentional effort, including a lovely bush walk alongside a river and to a waterfall with the kids, but it was by no means excessive.

“Dad, all this walking is making me hungry. Did you bring any Marmite sandwiches?”

Ten-thousand steps seems entirely doable, so, aside from publishing novel No. 2 (which is progressing more slowly than I’d like but also surely — I’m about two-thirds of the way through the second draft), my New Year’s resolution for 2021 is to keep the iPhone on my hip and try to average ten-thousand steps a day. It will be interesting to see how easy that will be once I return to work. Being a teacher may not be the most sedentary occupation on the planet but it’s certainly more sedentary than being an aerobics instructor, for instance, or a ninja. Although they do say that children need to experience learning in a variety of contexts before it really cements itself in their brains — perhaps, leading by example, it’s time to increase the interpretive dance component of my teaching programme.

“In groups, choreograph a short dance routine that depicts Lady Macbeth’s failing state of mind.”

Do you have any New Year’s resolutions for 2021? Let me know in the comments.


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As Easy as Falling off a Log

As Easy as Falling off a Log
I like that it matches the flush of my cheeks.

On September 18, my life literally came to a crashing standstill when I fell off my mountain-bike while going for a ride after work. I wish I could say I was doing a high-speed, 720 degree twisting backflip at the time but unfortunately, the circumstances were rather more mundane. I was riding along a log, lost my balance and fell off. Quite literally, it was as easy as falling off a log. This might not have been such a problem if I hadn’t then selected the wrong option upon landing. Instead of landing in the soft sandy soil of the trail, I chose to land on another log lying directly alongside the trail. Physics was never my strong point at school, but on this occasion, irresistible force plus immovable objected equaled a broken wrist.

Such is the punishment for trying to get a bit of exercise. If I’d just stayed on the couch watching TV and eating cake, I could have avoided all the unpleasantness. I ended up staying two nights in hospital on two occasions, the first when I required surgery to repair the bones and ligaments I’d wrecked in my fall, and the second two weeks later when one of the three wires holding my wrist bones together became infected and I had to go under the knife again to have it removed. I’ve got a third stay to look forward to in about a month’s time when my cast comes off and I’ll have the remaining two wires removed as well.

Hospitals have never been my favourite places and I do my best to avoid them. It’s been twenty-six years since my last major injury (dislocated shoulder — again as a result of falling off a mountain-bike) and this was the first time I’ve ever had to stay overnight as a patient, the first time I’ve ever experienced the brain-addling weirdness of going under and waking up from a general anaesthetic. Despite the pain and the discomfort and the meds, I was still clear-headed enough to realise I had much to be thankful for.

Firstly, on both occasions, I shared a room with three other men and on both occasions, despite the severity of my injury, I was the healthiest person in the room. Joint infections, diabetic complications, an amputated finger — an assortment of woes from patients who were in their beds when I was admitted and were still there when I was discharged. When you’re in danger of drowning in your sorrows, it helps to remember there’s always someone else worse off than you.

Secondly, I was thankful for the standard of my care. People like to complain about the public health service in New Zealand and certainly, it has its issues, but I felt I was looked after pretty bloody well. Hospitals are busy places and not much seems to happen in a hurry, but I was treated with compassion and competence by every staff member I interacted with and I don’t know whether you can ask for much more than that. The nurses especially were fantastic, and I’d like to give a shout-out to any nurses out there — you do such an important job.

Anyway, apart from the hiccup with the wire infection, my recovery is progressing smoothly. Being one-armed is uncomfortable and frustrating and surprisingly exhausting — it’s not an experience I want to repeat ever again. Which could be a challenge, since it won’t stop me from getting back on my bike once I’ve recovered. Even now, writing this with the sun rising to the dawn chorus of birdsong, I’m thinking it’s going to be a lovely day, the kind of day that would be just perfect for a bike ride.


FREE BOOK!

What Friends Are For, by J.B. Reynolds

A gritty and engaging story of human faults, fears, and frailty, What Friends Are For is the prequel short story to my tragicomic novel, Taking the Plunge. Introduce yourself to the characters from the novel and find out where it all begins for Kate, Tracy, Evan and Lawrence.

GET YOUR FREE BOOK >>

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